Shipping policy

Shipping Policy

The Department of Misguidance is pleased to offer free shipping on all domestic orders over $75. Orders that do not meet this threshold will be charged a shipping fee at checkout, which the Department considers fair and reasonable and will not be debating further.

Order Processing
Orders are typically processed within 2–5 business days of being placed. Processing times may be longer during peak periods, holidays, or whenever Ranger Kowalski is on leave, which is more often than anyone would like.

Shipping & Delivery
Once your order has shipped, delivery typically takes 3–7 business days depending on your location and the shipping method selected at checkout. The Department reminds you that the Pacific Northwest is very far from some of you and we are doing our best.

Order Updates
Tracking information will be emailed to you once your order has shipped. The Department recommends monitoring your tracking number with a calm and reasonable attitude.

Secure Checkout
All payments are processed through a secure, encrypted checkout system. Your financial information is handled with significantly more competence than our wilderness guidance.

Please note that delivery estimates are not guarantees. Carrier delays, weather events, and other factors outside the Department's control may impact arrival times. The Department accepts no responsibility for acts of nature, which is ironic given our jurisdiction.

For shipping questions, contact us at support@unhelpfulranger.com.